“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and few that find it.”
-Matthew 7:13
Have you ever heard someone say “I need a Life Coach”?
I haven’t. What I have heard people say is “I just want to be happy”, or “I just wish I had more time, or “I’m tired”, or “I just want to feel good" again”, or “I hate my job”, or “why am I so angry?”, or “I want my life to matter”, or “why am I so stressed?”, or “I’m overwhelmed and I’m not sure what to do” etc. What do all of those statements have in common? They all are looking for change. Begging for change.
That’s what I do. I help you change. I make it easier for you to achieve the changes that you want and help you get the results you desire. I help move them you closer to the kind of life you want, and closer to the person you want to become. The only reason to get coaching is to get results. You rarely hear someone say “I want a life coach”, but you often hear people talk about the results that a great life coach can help them get. I make it easier to get the results you want. I help you see a path forward, a plan for what you want and how to get it. I help you clarify what is most important to you and how to build a life that reflects it.
“I help people change. I make it easier for them to achieve the changes that they want in life.”
A “Life Coach” sounds like a luxury. That was my perspective. It wasn’t until I made the connection that what I really want is a result. A change. Having a coach is just the tool to help me get what I want. It was in that moment that my perspective changed and I saw coaching as an investment in to the life that I wanted. I didn’t consider not getting the life I wanted as an option, so coaching then made sense to me. Coaching makes it easier to get the results I want. The life that I want.
Life Coaching is about priorities. A choice to invest in your future and your family’s future. Why are we so reluctant to spend money on this choice when we are more than willing to throw money at so many less significant things? People don’t hesitate to buy a different car when the one they have still works fine. We spend thousands to make a kitchen or a bathroom look better. We spend hundreds of dollars each month on entertainment, or a new purse, or that new must have technology. Why are we so reluctant to spend money on the most important thing? The actual thing that will make us happy. All of those other things are external material things that we pursue in the misguided belief that they will make us happy. Each bring their own form of momentary pleasure, but do any of them really satisfy us at a deep level? Have you ever reached the point of not wanting more? It’s an endless cycle of wanting and spending that never arrives at being satisfied. Coaching is different. Coaching can help you build a life filled with deep satisfaction with the life you live and the people around you. Its an investment in your happiness and quality of life. What is the cost of not being happy or healthy or not living a life that is intentional and full of things that inspire you and bring you joy?
I have had the honor of working for several years with people who have hit rock bottom and been forced to hit the reset button. In many cases their homelessness or addictions have resulted in the loss of all of their material possessions and most of their relationships. Stories that are hard for most of us to even begin to relate to. However I can’t help but feel sometimes that this cascade of events has freed them from something that we all need to be liberated from in some sense. You might be thinking, “what could be worse than hitting rock bottom and having to start over again”? My response would be that a lukewarm life caught in the mediocre middle of happiness and despair could be the greatest curse of all. To sleep walk through years or decades where life is just “ok” and not bad enough to force us from our slumber to do something about it. Many people don’t have the opportunity to hit rock bottom and start anew with a new perspective on what is most important to them. For many of us, life is just good enough to not force us to make changes. As a result, we keep plodding along, settling for what life has to offer. Unable or unwilling to make changes, so we continue on a path that is low on meaning and low on purpose. This is the context under which I would say that it is a gift to wake up with clarity and realize you must do something to change the path you are on. To change what you do, and who you are. Sometimes we can’t even put what we want into words. We just know that we want something different than what we have. We yearn to be better. To feel better, to think better, to move better, we yearn to be a better person, to live a better life. One that feels right and is aligned with what we believe and who we want to become. That is what I do. I help people change and heal which helps them live better and live longer.
What can my coaching do for you?
Change. Most people hire a coach because they want to change something in their life. Change the way they operate, how they think, what they do. Good coaches are trained to listen for change talk and notice change behavior. They are trained to implement positive habits and behaviors that support your goals and to identify and help you eliminate the ones are no longer serving you.
Action. I help you get unstuck and take action on the things that have been holding you back. Action that produces results, which is what everyone really wants.
Clarity. I ask powerful questions that help you identify what is most important to you in life. Your priorities, your values, the people in your life, what you want to do, where you want to be, who you want to become.
Identity. I help you understand where you identity is rooted and taps into that power of identity and leverage it to drive change in your life. Positive psychology helps to move you along the path towards your goals by using your identity as a strength to pull from. Are you a father, an athlete, a daughter, a Christian, a teacher, a servant?
Vision. I will help you create a vision for your life and set goals that support what is most important to you.
Align. I help you align your actions with your beliefs. Align what you do with what you believe.
Awareness. I help you get out of your own head by providing valuable insight and feedback from an objective source. Too often we are held back by our own limited perspective on behaviors, relationships, and habits. A coach is trained to identify patterns in your thoughts and behavior that you may not be able to. A coach can help you see clearer and see farther and adjust your thinking and behavior accordingly.
Get over it. Challenges are a part of life but sometimes we let them hold a greater space than what they should. A coach can provide perspective when you are going through a difficult time or challenge in your life. They help you remember that it is just a season or a chapter and that it too shall pass. In those seasons it may require some extra motivation or encouragement to stay on track and keep going, or even the wisdom to know when to adjust what you are doing to give yourself some extra grace or rest during that challenging time. We can all use a little clarity to know when to push and when to pause.
Accountability. This is the perhaps the most powerful reason to hire a life coach. You can attempt to teach yourself how to make modest improvements in all of the areas mentioned above but accountability does not come with online research or from a book. There is nothing more powerful to driving change and getting results than personal one on one coaching. A good life coach holds you accountable to your own goals, commitments, and promises that you have made to yourself. They are are compassionate listeners who genuinely want to help you become the healthiest happiest version of yourself. They are there with an empathetic ear and encouraging word when you need it most. They are with you every step of your journey to celebrate the victories along the way or to help identify the reason for a lack of progress. They ask the right questions to get you to reflect and provide the best tools and wisdom when you need to get back on track. When you experience the power of accountability it will be an aha moment of “why did I wait so long?”.
Healing. With my coaching you get the added bonus of me being a certified Functional Medicine coach and a Wellness Coach. This is critical because in order to make the effort and have the mental clarity to be engaged and committed to change, you need to be at the top of your game. That does not happen without taking care of yourself as a whole. If you are sick, or tired or battling illness, the best life coaching in the world will be limited. Prioritizing your health has to be a component of whatever your life goals include. The best new science has proven and the oldest ancient wisdom has known, that the mind, body and soul are connected. What you eat, how you sleep, and how much natural movement you have in your life, all effect your mental physical and spiritual health. My life coaching includes as much or as little wellness coaching as you would like.
Be the hero of your own journey
A good way to describe how my life coaching works is to use the analogy of climbing a mountain. I am the sherpa guide that provides wisdom and support along your journey. Someone who has been there before and has experience to share, knows the pitfalls to avoid, and the paths that make the journey easier. Someone with the wisdom to know when to inspire you to push on and the experience to know when to counsel you to slow down and remember that rest is a necessary component of progress. I am only the guide, you are the hero. As the hero you have to put forth the effort and make the journey. I cannot make it for you. However, I will be there every step of the way to make it easier, more enjoyable, safer and perhaps most importantly, teach you to enjoy the journey itself.
“Don’t wish for life to be easier. Wish for you to be stronger.”
What Makes TNP Life Coaching Different?
TNP coaching leans into scripture and helps us understand “what would that look like in my daily life?” That is at the core of what I do. Help you determine what the simple truths and natural laws actually look like when you go to apply them to your daily life. These truths apply to all of us regardless of whether we acknowledge them or not.
TNP leverages your faith and provides both an identity and instructions for life. Many people drift for years as they struggle to find their identity. Actions flow from identity. When you know who you are you will know what to do. As Christians we are given a very clear identity as children of God. TNP coaching leverages that very powerful identity and uses it to pull you forward towards the positive changes in habits and behaviors that you want to make in your life.
I help you clarify what you believe and what is most important to you so that you can begin to align your habits with your beliefs. Align what you do with what you believe. You will be shocked at the feeling of freedom that comes when you quit spending energy trying to solve the disconnect that happens when your actions don’t match your what you want for yourself in life. When you live an aligned, intentional life built on truth, you are truly at peace because you know that your thoughts and your efforts are being spent on the most worthy of causes that you have decided ahead of time.
The Narrow Path is about humbling ourselves and embracing the truth that we are not the center of the universe, God is. His way is better than our way. If you need evidence of that just look where where the broad path has lead us so far. We need to humble ourselves to Him and the truths He created. When we try and put ourselves at the center of our own little universe and ask the rest of the world and everyone else in it to to revolve around us, it doesn’t work. Its not natural and it doesn’t work because it isn’t true. Culture and society want us to believe we need to elevate ourselves so they can profit. The truth is that when we attempt to elevate ourselves and our own happiness above others and above God, there are consequences. Those consequences show up in our relationships, in our work, in our health and in our finances.
Psalms 90:12 states “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom”. This passage provides a healthy (pun intended) perspective on life. It presents a potent reminder that we will all die and by its very nature prompts you to reflect on what is most important in your life. To view your life’s end and ask yourself “what do I want to have happened?” It teaches us to value time because it is both priceless and free and forces us to face the reality that we often choose to spend that time unwisely on the things that are not really important to us.
TNP is about living with intention. What does that mean? It means that you put effort in to what you think, what you say and what you do. Your actions are conscious decisions that serve you in your purpose rather than subconscious habits that make life more difficult or even sabotage your effort to reach your goals.
TNP is about the elimination of hurry in your life. You would be surprised at how many things we do (or are left undone) that are the result of always being in a hurry. Hurry is not compatible with love, not compatible with intention, and not compatible with peace.
Popular Life Coaching
Much of the life coaching philosophy that you will find out there is focused on elevating you. It’s filled with phrases like “loving yourself more”, “you deserve happiness” and is aligned with culture’s overarching theme of elevating you and your emotions and your desires above others and above God. Have you ever paid attention to the thousands of books and videos that are out there attempting to answer the same questions over and over again? Many people keep looking until they find an answer that they like, that they identify with. That makes them feel good. Finding the truth is secondary to finding the answer they wanted. Book stores and libraries have large “self help” sections but where is the “help others” section? “You deserve to be happy” may sound warm and promising but it is merely a softer version of the ancient problem of selfishness and greed. It may very well lead to a season of short term happiness and flourishing, but in the end will still ultimately result in the same disappointment and suffering. This isn’t a solution because all you are doing is pushing the moment farther down the road when you wake up one day and ask your self “What am I missing?”
There are no shortcuts and hacks. Often you will see promises of quick results and progress that are built on the latest hack or a secret shortcut. There are no shortcuts to a deep, satisfying life of purpose and intention. Anyone who promises otherwise is peddling something other than the truth.
Much of secular life coaching is about getting the THINGS that you want. Success, car, house, money. It’s built on the premise that you will be truly happy if you have more of those things. Its built on the promise and pursuit of pleasure and is reliant on your external circumstances. TNP coaching is built on truth and creates joy and gratitude that are rooted in your internal reality (who you are).
Left unchecked, popular coaching feeds into the fear of missing out that is pervasive in our culture. TNP coaching shifts your focus to not missing out on what God has to offer, not what the world has to offer.
“Actions flow from identity. When you know who you are, you will know what to do.”
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